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Jesus is watching you

Written by Liz Tams

Jesus is watching you

One night a burglar is trying to break into a house. He's sneaking across the lawn when he hears a voice - "Jesus is watching you!"
He jumps, turns around, but he doesn't see anything. So he starts creeping across the lawn again.
"Jesus is watching you!" He hears it again.
So now the burglar is really looking around, and he sees a parrot in a cage by the side of the house. He says to the parrot, "Did you say that?" The parrot answers "Yes I did." So the burglar asks, "What's your name?"
The parrot says "Clarence."
The burglar says "What kind of stupid idiot would name his parrot Clarence?"
The parrot laughs and says,

"The same stupid idiot that named his Rottweiler 'Jesus' "

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Noah in 2008

Written by Jonell Walker
Noah in 2008 In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, 'Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans' Write comment (0 Comments)
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Jesus Vs Satan

Written by Liz Tams

Jesus vs Satan

Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they agree to hold a contest with God as the judge.

They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously for several hours, lines of code streaming up the screen.

Seconds before the end, a bolt of lightning struck taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show what he has come up with.

Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing! I lost it all when the power went out."

"Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better."

Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.

Satan is astonished. He stutters, "But how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact! How did he do it?!"

God chuckles, "Jesus saves."

:silly:

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